The Pink Rektums Parish

The final match before the Semi Finals ensues. It’s Blu Dynamite VS Pink Rektum Obsession.

By the end of the first chapter, Blu Dynamite had a massive point advantage over Pink with 872 to 89 points. The Blus managed to make it all the way to the saferoom without taking too much damage, but the same can’t be said for Pink Rektums. I was already singing the blues for Pink Rektums when player Lucifer’s Tank demolished them, not too long after his spawning.


It’s sad that the first chapter went as bad as it did, considering Pink Rektums managed to stay pretty close to their enemies throughout the rest of the game. If there was not such a massive point difference, things could have played out a bit better for them, in the end.

There were some heroic moments coming from Pink Rektum throughout, including some passionate charges coming from Tomato and Reflecter, plus a very nice Tank, in the 3rd round. This game was somewhat consistent during the middle chapters. Blu keeping themselves in control, while Pink kept themselves sharp.

By the last Chapter, I had hope that Pink could turn things around, but Blu Dynamite had other plans for them. Reflecter’s Quad charge resulted in no Deaths or caps but the team’s next hit was enough to shut Blu down. The game was not decided until the final round, when Khufu’s charger swiped himself up some Dustinandband, straight into the ocean.


It was over.

Pink Rektums had become Blu from consistent poundings. This was the end of Pink Rektum Obsession and their role in this tournament. If Blu Dynamite can destroy a team that contains the widely heralded player known as Skooks, then I believe we might be looking at the future winners of this tournament.

The Gods have placed their bets and I place mine on Blu Dynamite. Go get’em, you crazy sons of bitches!



This “article” was amateurishly written/typed by HardcoreParkourInACarportPart4