“Pink Rektums” Become Red With Blood. Panic Ensues

Game 5 started off with a swift and loud death for Bill(Tella), when a startled Witch released her built up rage into his torso and throat. The remaining survivors of “Panic Attack” were rushed almost seemingly nonstop, until there was only Francis(Browntown) left; running with fear and adrenaline coursing through his veins, only for his hope to be shut down by the Tank’s(Reflecter’s)flying rock. This gave him enough time to approach young Brown and finish him off.


Next half begins and this time around, the Witch didn’t get to express much to the survivors before she was blasted into another dimension with a swift click from Reflecter’s Boomstick. “Pink Rektum Obsession” Managed to pull through most of this chapter with relative ease, although failed to make it to the end, as the Panics had a few tricks up their sleeves and worked patiently with the Tank to remind their enemies that they ain’t playin’ around no mo. First chapter ended 297(Rektum) to 251(Panic)

So far, anyone’s game.

Second chapter was not too different from the first, in terms of progress. Browntown pulled off a fantastic 4 Man Boom in the first hit, but there wasn’t too much beating until the the Tank arrived.


After surviving and defeating the brief onslaught of RageCake’s/bot Tank, the Pinks were left separated and vulnerable due to the combined efforts of Team Panic. When a weakened Bill(Tomato) had no choice but to resort to dual pistols in a attempt to rescue her friends from the clutches of those infected thugs, it was obvious these troopers had come to their last stand……for this portion of this chapter, I mean. They died.

The Pinks got their turn again and showed the Panics Hell, with their quick, hard and consistent beatings. The first hit racked up 313 collective points of dmg, with a good portion coming from spit dmg. Sadly, “Panic Attack” didn’t make it quite as far this round, but still managed to stay close to the Rektums, in terms of score. It ended when the last survivor Louis(Lotus) was hung over an angry mosh pit by our good old misspelled friend, Reflecter.

By the third Chapter, the Panics seemed to be fully warmed up and in full focus; plowing deep into the Pink Rektums with passion and finishing up within minutes. The first two rushes were executed with finesse, but things got even stickier when the Tank Came… Death ensued.


Next half was almost no different. The Rektums first hit just wasn’t as potent as the one they had received in the same spot, but their second attack contained the proper force and hatred needed to achieve pain. This round was over in two (and half) hits, with support from Skooks'(of The Gods) Tanking abilities.

Not much of anything special took place in the 4th round, other than Bill(Tomato) being smacked into oblivion by an AI Tank.

The Panics kept their cool and played well for most their survivor run, until Tomato’s Tank arrived to change their facial structures. Once again, both teams died before a single survivor could make it into the saferoom.

Final Chapter and “Pink Rektum Obsession” remain on top with 1234 to 831.

First few seconds into the finale, Francis(dustinandband) bade us a farewell, when his soul was claimed by a swift footed Charger(Lotus). Tella’s Tank was the other star of this half when he backhanded his way to victory, destroying the Pink Rektums as if it were a game to him.

This is not good for the Pink Rektums, who are in are in risk of losing this game. Their Tank(Dustin) couldn’t manage to sum up the same vigor of Tella’s, but the team managed to inflict some nice damage as a whole. The Panic Attacks survived the Tank and proceeded with caution.


It’s here where the Pink Rektums turned red with blood and rage, to unleash their final series of attacks. One thing led to another, Bill(RageCake) was taken back before he could drop into the cornfield, courtesy “Dustinandband” and soon after Tella had shook hands with The Grim Reaper, due to being utterly surrounded in Reflecter’s Obscene, Green Cream(acid).

It was just the two of them; Lotus and Browntown. They managed to fight and protect one another for a few minutes or so, but reality eventually caught up with them….It was all over and despite their valor and skill, the Pink Rektums had won.

1299 to 1079



This “article” was amateurishly written/typed by HardcoreParkourInACarportPart4